Friday, December 11, 2009

How not to start, but positively finish a day. 3rd person omniscient


He had just woken up with a hazy hangover, or rather lack of sleep, or rather both joining forces to smite him back down to his pillow. He'd prepared a nice breakfast to get back on his feet... things were going well... until he decided to mistake the salt for sugar, dump it in his coffee and proceed to take a huge tug of his nicely salted espresso. This is one of the worst tastes and/or surprises that can follow said beginning of a day to date. He then foolishly tried to handle the steaming hot press with his hands to make another espresso and efficiently burned himself while cursing the moon, gods, and most of all, the salt container.

Off to school to educate the young masses about his beloved homeland and the silly images that it portrays around the world. The quick and painless bus ride was made better with the reparation espresso, even though it had singed his fingertips. But alas the coffee did not last. The caffeine ceased to course through his thin veins almost immediately after his first class. Knowing that a nap was necessary after school to make up for his lost hours of sleep, the hapless young guiri staved off a piercing desire to have another coffee. A menacing cafeteria lady tried his patience by refusing to listen to him say a very simple Spanish word that he says every day to her.
"Me cobras por una bocatta"
"QUE?"
"ME COBRAS POR UNA BOCATTA"
"QUE??"
"BOCATTA! UNA!"
He eases himself out of this by joking with some P.E. teachers as they feel his sentiment, and teach him how to say something vulgar but acceptable when someone is being stubborn to you. Translating to something like, "I will crap in your molars".

Classes finish.
He races to the bus. He decided to open his briefcase to check some papers, and his bus takes an alternate route for no reason which forces him to make it stop immediately as he needs to go to the immigrants office for his identification card. After a long day with no energy and little sleep to form this painful series of events, he rushes to the bus door and his OPEN briefcase spills all of his important papers all over the street. "Wonderful," he thinks as Spaniards old and young scurry about to help him gather his papers. Something makes his eye shine as human nature apparently has a good side, and can help turn this day around.
He gets his foreign ID. Takes a nap, and finishes the day off with class by attending a band practice, helping write lyrics for his Spanish friends' band, and waltzing off into the night with good people, and positive energy.

1 comment:

sara spelled w/o an h said...

crapping on your molars is acceptably offensive, huh?